Some call it fate, others call it divine intervention, and even others call it the hand of God. I experienced the hand of God and a direct answer to prayer during the past few days. 

In my last post, I told you about the story of how I met Mary while getting pedicures. We ended up working together last week on some presentation ideas for a very important grant presentation that took place tonight. I spent a little time this weekend working with Mary and the nonprofit founder, Mike, fine-tuning his 8 minute (yes, you read it right – 8 minutes) final presentation. All along I had a good feeling Mike’s story about his nonprofit and the work they do would win the grant. I’ve found there is nothing more compelling than a founder describing the minute or the circumstances that led to the decision to create a nonprofit. I’m beyond ecstatic to report that the group was awarded the grant today! The impact this grant will make is unbelievable and I’m so thrilled for them, and for those they serve.  Did I happen to meet Mary by fate, through divine intervention or was it the hand of God working in this situation? I say HAND OF GOD!!!!! 

Over the past four months I’ve applied for job after job. I’ve been studying to recertify in HR, and I’ve experienced no success in anything. Nada. Zilch. Radio silence. Not even a “no thanks” acknowledgement. I’ve become negative, scared that I’ll never find a decent job again and have felt so so far away from God. 

It’s a common knee jerk reaction to immediately feel distance from God or that I’m being punished for some sin from years ago. During my formative years, being raised in a strict hellfire and damnation environment in a very Southern Baptist Church has not had a positive impact on my faith life or my desire to be involved in any denominational church that leans to being more evangelical than not. It took years of one-on-one time with an incredible preacher who was my age to acknowledge God the Father in Heaven loves me as much, and even more, than my sweet beloved earthly daddy did for 49 years. I still struggle daily and still jump to a negative conclusion that I’ve gotten on the wrong side of our Father in Heaven whenever everything starts imploding. I’m working on it, but old habits die hard folks!

Last week I had one of those rock bottom moments – one more thing had happened and it was enough to push me over the edge. I sat on the bed and cried – big loud angry tears and was mad, very very mad at God. I told him too – I would never have done that years ago but after reading a wonderful book by John Ortberg, I realized God expects us to get frustrated and get mad. He is OK with us letting him know exactly what we’re mad about and why. I told God I didn’t understand what He wanted me to do. I knew I hadn’t handled some things well and I knew I had lost all confidence that things were going to work out. I just wanted something – a sign that I would know He’s with me and it’s going to be OK. After my pity party, I apologized to those I had hurt, I made a reasonable to do list, and I verbally told God “I’m letting go now – you lead me and I’ll follow. I’ll quit trying to control everything and quit getting mad when nothing goes MY way.” In other words, live in faith. 

Yes, I did get a direct answer to prayer. Yes, I did get a sign. Yes, I’m taking things a day at a time. I’m more positive this week and am much happier. I’m looking for beauty. I’m working on seeing both sides of the story and trying to understand those that I don’t agree with on important issues. I’m being proactive and tackling health issues believing I will beat the odds. 

I still have no clue about the future or even tomorrow. But hey, that’s OK because it’ll be fine and I can work with it – no matter what it is! As long as I rise to a new sun each day with Lance and my beloved fur babies by my side, I’m blessed. I just gotta keep on being positive and moving forward in Faith. 

When naming this post, I remembered one of my favorite gospel songs, Through it All sung by the amazing Andrae Crouch…

I’ve had many tears and sorrows,
I’ve had questions for tomorrow,
there’s been times I didn’t know right from wrong.
But in every situation,
God gave me blessed consolation,
that my trials come to only make me strong.

Through it all,
through it all,
I’ve learned to trust in Jesus,
I’ve learned to trust in God.
Through it all,
through it all,
I’ve learned to depend upon His Word.

I’ve been to lots of places,
I’ve seen a lot of faces,
there’s been times I felt so all alone.
But in my lonely hours,
yes, those precious lonely hours,
Jesus lets me know that I was His own

Through it all,
through it all,
I’ve learned to trust in Jesus,
I’ve learned to trust in God.
Through it all,
through it all,
I’ve learned to depend upon His Word.

I thank God for the mountains,
and I thank Him for the valleys,
I thank Him for the storms He brought me through.
For if I’d never had a problem,
I wouldn’t know God could solve them,
I’d never know what faith in God could do.

Written by Darrell R Brown, Dennis Matkosky, Darrell Brown • Copyright © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Kobalt Music Publishing Ltd., Universal Music Publishing Group