I received some incredible news today from a friend – I was thrilled to hear that something I had participated in and really wanted to happen was a possibility. Thrilled – but found myself sobbing with happiness and sobbing for what could have been. Did I regret the decision I made quite some time ago – did I do the right thing? It’s really hard to discern what the right thing is at times, isn’t it?
We all have our own processes and rituals we go through when making decisions. I have learned not to make knee-jerk decisions based on gut instincts or reactions the hard way. Now my main process is the old pro and con list; when faced with a decision, I always get a legal pad out and draw a line down the middle – one side is pro and the other is con. Now if this decision involves breaking up or divorcing someone the list is called the “shitty list” and one side you list every single shitty thing you can think of about that person (at least 5 things to start with and I start the list) and the other column is the great list. I’m not sure I’ve ever had a friend where the great list one was a lot longer … anyway back to the pro/con list. I try to review and add to the list in both columns each day for a week or so. By then I have a pretty good idea what I feel like is the right decision, but in the end I go with my gut instinct. Has my process proved me wrong – well of course. No matter what, we all make mistakes and the key is to learn from them. In my opinion mistakes are great learning tools if you are brave enough to admit them, learn from them and move on. Moving on is a key part of the learning process – ruminating on the mistake is adding to it.
So what did I do today in that moment of uncertainty? Went back to my notes, had some quiet time by myself and thought things through again. I’m ok with it – I did what I needed to do. I’m moving on.
Now will I still be happy with my decision down the road – who knows, that old journey called life can throw some curveballs and nothing in life is guaranteed. We all know that – so yeah, I’m so happy for my friend and I want everything to turn out well.
Just like lyrics to one of my very favorite songs says –
“Regrets, I’ve had a few … I did what I had to do … And more, much more than this I did it my way”
Until next time – peace and blessings friends …
Songwriters: Claude Francois / Gilles Thibaut / Jacques Revaux / Marcelo Drumond Nova
My Way lyrics © Warner Chappell Music France, Jeune Musique Editions, BMG Rights Management US, LLC, Songs Music Publishing